I sat trying to think of something to type that would inspire – that would motivate – that would make people happy. All that I could come up with was a hefty dose of sarcasm. Then it hit me…that light bulb moment I had been so desperately seeking. Sarcasm and me are like this **crosses fingers**. I’m not the inspirational or motivational guru. I’m the sarcasm guru. It’s who I am. That’s not to say that through my sarcasm there isn’t a hint of sincerity that may – in way one or another – inspire or motivate. It’s just that…if you’re looking for ooey gooey, sticky sweetness…this isn’t the place.
What brought about this revelation, you may ask?! I read a blog today that said to release yourself from trying to be “good enough”. It really hit home. I spend too much damn time trying to be everything to everyone. I rarely stop to think about who I am…to MYSELF. For some reason, I spend more time worrying about everyone BUT myself. As the New Year approaches - and before another year gets tacked on to my age - I figured now was as good a time as any to take stock of my life and figure out where I stand. So let’s do this together…take a few minutes, clear your mind and concentrate on YOU…where do you see yourself…what do you want out of 2012?
If you’re wondering just what the above mentioned few minutes might look like – here is what this crazy brain of mine came up with:
1) I live too much in my head. Sometimes I think I live life more in my head than I do out in the real world. I’m a thinker by nature and that is my problem. I think too much. I think WAY too much. Instead of getting out and just DOING…I – instead – THINK and PONDER over everything. Not very productive, let me tell you. I have to remember that some of the best moments in life aren’t planned or even thought of. They just happen when you least expect them.
2) I need to let myself be happy. Things will never turn out exactly how I want them to...and I won’t always get what I really want {and boy is that an understatement}…but life is good and I should be thankful for that. I read a quote once - on a refrigerator magnet of all places - that said, “Happiness is a journey!” It’s simple and brilliant. Couldn’t think of better words to live by.
3) Seriously…it’s ok if you don’t like me. More than likely, I don’t really like you either. I will never be liked by everyone…which makes it even more important to remember that I need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks of me. What’s that phrase…”Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.” Or something like that…
4) I will never be perfect. This one is uber important so I’m going to say it again with more emphasis…I WILL NEVER BE PERFECT. I need to be ok with that. As a self-declared perfectionist, I understand the hazards that come along with this infliction. Unfortunately, it’s a personality flaw and even though I shout it to the world here in this post, in 30 seconds I will have forgotten this statement and will be aiming for perfection yet again. So maybe the more important statement that needs to be made is…I am who I am…or even better…it is what it is. Live with it.
5) Those that don’t value my talent and who I am as a person, are not worthy of my time. Pretty self explanatory. Some of you should be worried. Just sayin’…
Of course, because I’m a thinker…I could probably come up with quite a few more, but I shall refrain…for now. Instead…I’ll leave you with this.
In the words of Popeye, “I am what I am!” If you don’t like it, well...that’s not my problem anymore :)
Happy Holidays ~ From Mama Mack
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Viewer Discretion is Advised!!!
I’ve never claimed to be anything but what I am – a bitch. It’s really just an acceptance of all my faults and an understanding that people will either like me for who I am or not. It’s their choice. Yet, it has become clear to me that even people I believe like me, really just tolerate me and for the most part think that I’m a bitch. This may leave you confused as I just admitted above that I AM a bitch. The point of this post is to clarify that there is a BIG difference between accepting your bitchiness and realizing that pretty much everyone around you is THINKING you are a bitch.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve understood that my attitude and actions can give off the impression of bitchiness. People often mistake my passion and seriousness for my kids, for my work, for my life as bitchiness. I can assure you that the words that come out of my mouth are never intended to be rude, condescending or bitchy. My ability to filter my tone has gotten significantly better with age, yet it will never be perfect. I stand up for what I believe in. I tell it like it is. Sometimes things are just going to come out the wrong. Sometimes things are going to rub people the wrong way. And therein lies the difference - me understanding that I’m a bitch doesn’t take the hurt away when I find out people think I’m a bitch.
Yesterday was a day of self revelations. I realized that most people around me believe me to be bitchy, condescending, and stubborn. I also realized that I take things WAY too seriously – and that is an understatement. My need to “mother” everyone and everything around me also causes me more trouble than I really need. Then I start understanding that I don’t necessarily like who I am, but also understand that I can’t change me. I can work to improve my filter and try to take a lighter approach on certain aspects of my life, but I can’t change the inherent elements that are ME anymore than I can make the grass blue. I start to think that I’m becoming more and more like some family members that I always told myself I would never be like. I start to analyze my life and where I am and how the constant feeling of loneliness probably has A LOT to do with me being a bitch. It probably has alot to do with my serious lack of close current friendships. Then I ask myself if an Elementary School teacher is really going to work for me…I’m not the bubbly, likeable person that one expects to find teaching their kids…
And that’s when it really hits me. I see some of the same traits starting to appear in my children. The bossiness. The need to be in control. And THAT is when I really start to panic. At first I thought they were good traits to have – in moderation of course. They would grow up to be leaders one day and those skills would come in handy. Now I’m starting to wonder if these traits will bring them the same pain they’ve brought me. Have I done them a huge injustice by letting these traits rub off onto them? Could I have stopped it? It’s one thing for me to be disliked. I’ve dealt with it for years now. It’s another to think that my children might go through this…all because of me and who I am.
So the question is – where does one draw the line? Is accepting me for me ok, or is there an underlying problem there that needs professional help? Trust me, even I recognize the sound of craziness when I hear it (or read it). Most importantly, how do I stop the hurt this is causing me…and why NOW is it bothering me when it never has before, at least not to this extent?
Maybe this is all just pointless babble…typed out for no one to read. Did it help? No, not really…
For as long as I can remember, I’ve understood that my attitude and actions can give off the impression of bitchiness. People often mistake my passion and seriousness for my kids, for my work, for my life as bitchiness. I can assure you that the words that come out of my mouth are never intended to be rude, condescending or bitchy. My ability to filter my tone has gotten significantly better with age, yet it will never be perfect. I stand up for what I believe in. I tell it like it is. Sometimes things are just going to come out the wrong. Sometimes things are going to rub people the wrong way. And therein lies the difference - me understanding that I’m a bitch doesn’t take the hurt away when I find out people think I’m a bitch.
Yesterday was a day of self revelations. I realized that most people around me believe me to be bitchy, condescending, and stubborn. I also realized that I take things WAY too seriously – and that is an understatement. My need to “mother” everyone and everything around me also causes me more trouble than I really need. Then I start understanding that I don’t necessarily like who I am, but also understand that I can’t change me. I can work to improve my filter and try to take a lighter approach on certain aspects of my life, but I can’t change the inherent elements that are ME anymore than I can make the grass blue. I start to think that I’m becoming more and more like some family members that I always told myself I would never be like. I start to analyze my life and where I am and how the constant feeling of loneliness probably has A LOT to do with me being a bitch. It probably has alot to do with my serious lack of close current friendships. Then I ask myself if an Elementary School teacher is really going to work for me…I’m not the bubbly, likeable person that one expects to find teaching their kids…
And that’s when it really hits me. I see some of the same traits starting to appear in my children. The bossiness. The need to be in control. And THAT is when I really start to panic. At first I thought they were good traits to have – in moderation of course. They would grow up to be leaders one day and those skills would come in handy. Now I’m starting to wonder if these traits will bring them the same pain they’ve brought me. Have I done them a huge injustice by letting these traits rub off onto them? Could I have stopped it? It’s one thing for me to be disliked. I’ve dealt with it for years now. It’s another to think that my children might go through this…all because of me and who I am.
So the question is – where does one draw the line? Is accepting me for me ok, or is there an underlying problem there that needs professional help? Trust me, even I recognize the sound of craziness when I hear it (or read it). Most importantly, how do I stop the hurt this is causing me…and why NOW is it bothering me when it never has before, at least not to this extent?
Maybe this is all just pointless babble…typed out for no one to read. Did it help? No, not really…
Monday, August 29, 2011
Who is SHE?!
I look in the mirror and I’m left wondering, “who is that woman in front of me?” Oh sure, she has long brown hair and my big brown eyes, but she sure doesn’t resemble the me that I recognize. I catch little glimpses of the me I remember, but then she’s gone again. Lost behind a mind so full of family, school, work, life, schedules, parties, and so on that she’s become unrecognizable.
Sounds crazy, right? It sounds crazy to me. Yet I find myself in this funk every couple of months. Then something happens and I break through the fog…coming to my senses and proclaiming that I’m going to do things differently. I’m going to put me first and won’t let this happen again. And guess what…it’s a lie. It happens again and I’m just as confused on how I got here as I was the first time or the fifth time or the twentieth time.
I realize that my plate is overflowing. It’s my own doing – choices I’ve made – that have brought me to this winding path. Sometimes it’s sunny and I can walk along knowing that I have a beautiful family, a loving husband, great friends, good job and that everything will be just fine. Then there are times that the path is rough, the sky is gray and I never know when it might start raining down on me. I need to find balance...
Sometimes there is so much going on in my head that I neglect the people in my life. There are those who have no idea just how much they mean to me. How much I’m grateful for them and what they bring to my life. I keep meaning to tell them…yet I never do. It’s as if I live life in my head, never really living life out loud.
How do I shut my mind off long enough for me to actually enjoy life rather than analyze it? That is the question here, isn’t it? Where is that elusive off switch I’ve been searching for? What would be the consequences if I found it? Would it make a difference?
For now, I’ll just sit back and let all of this wander through my head.
And while I’m thinking about it…know that I love you. I really do <3
Sounds crazy, right? It sounds crazy to me. Yet I find myself in this funk every couple of months. Then something happens and I break through the fog…coming to my senses and proclaiming that I’m going to do things differently. I’m going to put me first and won’t let this happen again. And guess what…it’s a lie. It happens again and I’m just as confused on how I got here as I was the first time or the fifth time or the twentieth time.
I realize that my plate is overflowing. It’s my own doing – choices I’ve made – that have brought me to this winding path. Sometimes it’s sunny and I can walk along knowing that I have a beautiful family, a loving husband, great friends, good job and that everything will be just fine. Then there are times that the path is rough, the sky is gray and I never know when it might start raining down on me. I need to find balance...
Sometimes there is so much going on in my head that I neglect the people in my life. There are those who have no idea just how much they mean to me. How much I’m grateful for them and what they bring to my life. I keep meaning to tell them…yet I never do. It’s as if I live life in my head, never really living life out loud.
How do I shut my mind off long enough for me to actually enjoy life rather than analyze it? That is the question here, isn’t it? Where is that elusive off switch I’ve been searching for? What would be the consequences if I found it? Would it make a difference?
For now, I’ll just sit back and let all of this wander through my head.
And while I’m thinking about it…know that I love you. I really do <3
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sleep? What's that?
"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." ~ Leo J. Burke
My mom was right. We were totally spoiled by Rya’s ability to sleep through just about ANYTHING - practically since she was born. Now – when faced with the Little Monster and his sporadic inability to sleep through the night, I am left exhausted, confused, and frustrated.
So fellow Mama’s, I need some SERIOUS advice. Here’s the low down…Keaton has never been a great sleeper. We’ll go through spurts where he’ll sleep through the night for a few months and then something will happen – maybe he gets sick or there is some change in the routine – and it’s like we’re starting all over from square one. It’s to the point where I’m GOOGLING advice because I’m at my wits end, yet every suggestion is something we already do or have done. I love the Little Monster, but Mama needs some SLEEP!!! So – if you have any tips, comments, snide remarks, I’m open to hearing them {and ignoring them if applicable}.
Here is what we currently do / or have tried:
1) We have a bedtime routine. When it’s time for bed, the family goes upstairs and Roy and I each take an offspring to get them all pajama’d up, teeth brushed, “I Love You’s” said, in bed, story read, lights out and doors closed. On bath nights, throw a bath in before the “pajama’d up.”
2) After lights out, the door is closed when he is still awake, so that he falls asleep on his own. There is no rocking to sleep or anything of that nature.
3) We’ve made sure he has a full tummy – he’s well fed, and in the event he doesn’t eat much, we make sure he has at least a graham cracker and cup of milk to put something in his belly.
4) Keaton has a classical music CD that plays when he’s in bed and I read him a story. I’m not sure EXACTLY how long it plays, but it’s at least 45 minutes.
5) Had a nightlight, which I just removed on Thursday thinking maybe it was TOO bright and was causing him to wake up.
6) He still has his binky {aka – pacifier} which we’ve limited to bedtime only. Working on breaking that habit…SOON…as I know that could be one reason he wakes up - when it gets “lost” in the middle of the night.
7) When he DOES wake up, I go in and find his binky, put him back in bed, and walk out. I don’t talk or turn on lights {though of course sometimes he has already turned them on himself}.
8) On nights where I just can't get him back down, I've given him a sippy cup of milk in bed {which would typically NOT happen} just to get him to SLEEP! Even that doesn't always work.
9) We’ve attempted the “let him cry it out method.” My husband fully pins me on this one because at about the 45 min to an hour mark, I start getting frustrated because I can’t sleep and truly believe this kid will just keep crying and knocking until it’s time to get up.
Here are a few things I am going to try, along with the thought processes behind them:
1) Lighter PJ’s at night – maybe he’s getting too warm.
2) Something to provide constant noise whether it’s a fan or hitting “repeat” on his CD player – maybe he has a hard time falling back asleep when it’s quiet.
3) Getting rid of the binky – if he doesn’t have it to lose it, then he won’t need to get up to find it. Of course, this will probably make the problem WORSE initially.
4) Buying a new mattress – we gave him Rya’s mattress from when she was a baby. It’s older and maybe now that he’s bigger, it’s getting uncomfortable.
Here are a couple other key pieces of information before you share your wisdom:
1) He is in a toddler bed, so he’s not confined.
2) Because Keaton is a wannabe Houdini, we’ve had to install a lock that is accessible from the outside of his door so that we can lock him in at night. The idea of him getting out and playing by the stairs is just not something I want to think about. This means that when he does wake up, he is KNOCKING at the door and hitting the handle. It’s loud…and obnoxious.
3) When he wakes up, it's close to impossible to get him back to sleep without rocking him or putting him in bed and rubbing his back.
4) Over the weekend, he slept through the ENTIRE night – BOTH nights – that Auntie Carlene and Todd watched him. The first night that Roy and I were back, he went right back to waking up at approx 1-2am. WTF?!?
4) The other big problem with the "cry it out" method is Keaton's penchant for getting naked. This means jammies and Pull-Up come OFF. The last thing I want to find in the morning is a ginormous MESS that I will have to clean up.
So there you have it. We need your help…BADLY! I might even be willing to offer a reward for anyone who provides a winning tip. Alright...WOW me with your brilliance. Ready? Set? GO!
My mom was right. We were totally spoiled by Rya’s ability to sleep through just about ANYTHING - practically since she was born. Now – when faced with the Little Monster and his sporadic inability to sleep through the night, I am left exhausted, confused, and frustrated.
So fellow Mama’s, I need some SERIOUS advice. Here’s the low down…Keaton has never been a great sleeper. We’ll go through spurts where he’ll sleep through the night for a few months and then something will happen – maybe he gets sick or there is some change in the routine – and it’s like we’re starting all over from square one. It’s to the point where I’m GOOGLING advice because I’m at my wits end, yet every suggestion is something we already do or have done. I love the Little Monster, but Mama needs some SLEEP!!! So – if you have any tips, comments, snide remarks, I’m open to hearing them {and ignoring them if applicable}.
Here is what we currently do / or have tried:
1) We have a bedtime routine. When it’s time for bed, the family goes upstairs and Roy and I each take an offspring to get them all pajama’d up, teeth brushed, “I Love You’s” said, in bed, story read, lights out and doors closed. On bath nights, throw a bath in before the “pajama’d up.”
2) After lights out, the door is closed when he is still awake, so that he falls asleep on his own. There is no rocking to sleep or anything of that nature.
3) We’ve made sure he has a full tummy – he’s well fed, and in the event he doesn’t eat much, we make sure he has at least a graham cracker and cup of milk to put something in his belly.
4) Keaton has a classical music CD that plays when he’s in bed and I read him a story. I’m not sure EXACTLY how long it plays, but it’s at least 45 minutes.
5) Had a nightlight, which I just removed on Thursday thinking maybe it was TOO bright and was causing him to wake up.
6) He still has his binky {aka – pacifier} which we’ve limited to bedtime only. Working on breaking that habit…SOON…as I know that could be one reason he wakes up - when it gets “lost” in the middle of the night.
7) When he DOES wake up, I go in and find his binky, put him back in bed, and walk out. I don’t talk or turn on lights {though of course sometimes he has already turned them on himself}.
8) On nights where I just can't get him back down, I've given him a sippy cup of milk in bed {which would typically NOT happen} just to get him to SLEEP! Even that doesn't always work.
9) We’ve attempted the “let him cry it out method.” My husband fully pins me on this one because at about the 45 min to an hour mark, I start getting frustrated because I can’t sleep and truly believe this kid will just keep crying and knocking until it’s time to get up.
Here are a few things I am going to try, along with the thought processes behind them:
1) Lighter PJ’s at night – maybe he’s getting too warm.
2) Something to provide constant noise whether it’s a fan or hitting “repeat” on his CD player – maybe he has a hard time falling back asleep when it’s quiet.
3) Getting rid of the binky – if he doesn’t have it to lose it, then he won’t need to get up to find it. Of course, this will probably make the problem WORSE initially.
4) Buying a new mattress – we gave him Rya’s mattress from when she was a baby. It’s older and maybe now that he’s bigger, it’s getting uncomfortable.
Here are a couple other key pieces of information before you share your wisdom:
1) He is in a toddler bed, so he’s not confined.
2) Because Keaton is a wannabe Houdini, we’ve had to install a lock that is accessible from the outside of his door so that we can lock him in at night. The idea of him getting out and playing by the stairs is just not something I want to think about. This means that when he does wake up, he is KNOCKING at the door and hitting the handle. It’s loud…and obnoxious.
3) When he wakes up, it's close to impossible to get him back to sleep without rocking him or putting him in bed and rubbing his back.
4) Over the weekend, he slept through the ENTIRE night – BOTH nights – that Auntie Carlene and Todd watched him. The first night that Roy and I were back, he went right back to waking up at approx 1-2am. WTF?!?
4) The other big problem with the "cry it out" method is Keaton's penchant for getting naked. This means jammies and Pull-Up come OFF. The last thing I want to find in the morning is a ginormous MESS that I will have to clean up.
So there you have it. We need your help…BADLY! I might even be willing to offer a reward for anyone who provides a winning tip. Alright...WOW me with your brilliance. Ready? Set? GO!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Shoes? Fu@k Shoes!
That headline is for you Dane Cook fans out there - and is ENTIRELY relevant to the following blog post:
My son likes to be naked! Bet that got your attention, right? But it’s really as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what the article of clothing may be…socks, shoes, jammies, Pull-Ups…nothing stays on long. You want examples? Oh – I can give you examples!
Ok…socks and shoes both come off before we even leave the house to go to school. Most of the time, he has swapped shoes and is wearing a pair of Sister’s flip flops. I then have to put HIS shoes BACK on to get him out to the car. Sometimes they come off in there too. This has resulted in numerous lost socks and a missing flip flop at daycare – you didn’t really think this was just happening at home, did you? We now have one LEFT yellow flip flop - who’s match is lost somewhere in our house - and one LEFT green flip flop that was more than likely shoved into the garbage at daycare never to be seen again. Which is really just sad considering I could’ve at least had a pair of mismatched flips flops if they were Left and Right’s!
Then there are jammies. Imagine walking into your child’s room in the middle of the night after you hear him up and crying. The light is on and the first thing you see when you open the door is said child, jammie-less…holding his blanket. Now, keep in mind that you’re half asleep and the fact that your child is not wearing the jammies you put him in before bed is trying to right itself in your brain. You then notice that said jammies are crumpled up in the corner of the room. Oh – and did I mention these are footed, one piece jammies? **Sigh** Yes, this particular scenario happened at 4am this morning.
And if that’s not enough, there are numerous occasions where I’m in the kitchen and when Keaton walks around the corner he is butt naked – no clothes, no Pull-Up…just him and his sippy cup. Funny, right? Oh no – not when I’m upstairs getting ready and I happen to glance down the staircase to make sure Daddy is watching him only to discover that the little terror is walking up the stairs…without pants…and is in the process of pulling off his Pull-Up and is leaving a trail of little brown nuggets behind him. Oh yes…that’s right…POOP PELLETS trailing up my stairs. I couldn’t make this up…seriously!
Now, you’re probably thinking…”do they not pay attention to their child?” I can assure you that we do. My only response is that this child moves at the speed of light. He’s like…the Stealth Undresser. You think I’m kidding? How about you babysit one evening and let’s see what happens, shall we?? Uh huh – thought so. There’s a reason we call him the Little Monster, you know. Good thing he’s utterly adorable cuz otherwise he could’ve ended up on the black market.
The point to this? I guess I’m looking for confirmation that this is…indeed…just a phase and that my child is not going to become a flasher or nudist or something.
{Side note – obviously I know this is really just normal behavior for the most part…but it does make for an entertaining read, right?}
My son likes to be naked! Bet that got your attention, right? But it’s really as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what the article of clothing may be…socks, shoes, jammies, Pull-Ups…nothing stays on long. You want examples? Oh – I can give you examples!
Ok…socks and shoes both come off before we even leave the house to go to school. Most of the time, he has swapped shoes and is wearing a pair of Sister’s flip flops. I then have to put HIS shoes BACK on to get him out to the car. Sometimes they come off in there too. This has resulted in numerous lost socks and a missing flip flop at daycare – you didn’t really think this was just happening at home, did you? We now have one LEFT yellow flip flop - who’s match is lost somewhere in our house - and one LEFT green flip flop that was more than likely shoved into the garbage at daycare never to be seen again. Which is really just sad considering I could’ve at least had a pair of mismatched flips flops if they were Left and Right’s!
Then there are jammies. Imagine walking into your child’s room in the middle of the night after you hear him up and crying. The light is on and the first thing you see when you open the door is said child, jammie-less…holding his blanket. Now, keep in mind that you’re half asleep and the fact that your child is not wearing the jammies you put him in before bed is trying to right itself in your brain. You then notice that said jammies are crumpled up in the corner of the room. Oh – and did I mention these are footed, one piece jammies? **Sigh** Yes, this particular scenario happened at 4am this morning.
And if that’s not enough, there are numerous occasions where I’m in the kitchen and when Keaton walks around the corner he is butt naked – no clothes, no Pull-Up…just him and his sippy cup. Funny, right? Oh no – not when I’m upstairs getting ready and I happen to glance down the staircase to make sure Daddy is watching him only to discover that the little terror is walking up the stairs…without pants…and is in the process of pulling off his Pull-Up and is leaving a trail of little brown nuggets behind him. Oh yes…that’s right…POOP PELLETS trailing up my stairs. I couldn’t make this up…seriously!
Now, you’re probably thinking…”do they not pay attention to their child?” I can assure you that we do. My only response is that this child moves at the speed of light. He’s like…the Stealth Undresser. You think I’m kidding? How about you babysit one evening and let’s see what happens, shall we?? Uh huh – thought so. There’s a reason we call him the Little Monster, you know. Good thing he’s utterly adorable cuz otherwise he could’ve ended up on the black market.
The point to this? I guess I’m looking for confirmation that this is…indeed…just a phase and that my child is not going to become a flasher or nudist or something.
{Side note – obviously I know this is really just normal behavior for the most part…but it does make for an entertaining read, right?}
Monday, July 25, 2011
Dammit! Where's the off switch to this thing?
I've been struggling lately. Mostly with myself, a little with others...in just about every aspect of my life. It's gotten to the point where I'm getting a little worried about myself. When you begin to seriously pray for an off switch for your brain, you know you're in trouble.
I know what some of you are thinking. "But she just got back from vacation!" You're right...I did. And let me tell you that I'm pretty sure the trip did more harm then good. Knowing most people won't understand, when asked how my trip was, I smile and tell them it was good. A few select individuals got the truth. That it left me feeling very disillusioned. Disillusioned about friends, about family, about where exactly I fit in to this picture I call my life. {And trust me...I get the irony of this paragraph}
I've come to a few really important realizations that I've decided to share. Not so much because I want someone's opinion, but to organize my thoughts and - hopefully - get myself out of this theoretical rut I have found myself in. So - here goes nothing...
1) Facebook is more harmful, than helpful. Wow - loaded statement right? You all know that I love me some FB. It's how I stay in touch with most of you, keeping current on everyone's comings and goings. I've realized, however, that it creates a sort of unstable sense of friendship. What does that mean? Well, it means that I'm creating or cultivating all of these "virtual" friendships, yet the real ones are either disintegrating or...for some...are non-existent in the real world. It means that it gives me this false sense of comfort thinking that my true friends know how I feel about their friendship. It means that I need to make the extra effort to reach out to those friends and actually TALK with them. Not everday...not every week. Just every once in awhile so they know that I value them and the place they've carved out in my life. Of course - don't expect me to abandon FB any time soon. That's an addiction that will take awhile to break.
2)It's ok to just go with the flow. Sounds simple enough, right? For me, this is a painstaking process. I set deadlines for everything and get very agitated when those deadlines aren't met. Makes me super great at my job, but not so much when it comes to my life. Somewhere in this blog you will find a post that mentions something to the effect of "forgetting self imposed deadlines". I have obviously not listened to my own advice. I need to remember that not everything has to have an agenda that is followed. Sometimes the happiest moments in life are those that are spontaneous. Again, sounds easy, but I assure you...for me, it is not. It is something that I will be striving for and struggling with, but is something that I know is a MUST for me to move forward.
3) My family is the single most important thing in my life. Oh sure...say it. DUH! And it's not that I ever really FORGOT this. But it's good to remind myself now and then. Especially when my brain is going a million miles a second thinking about FB and when the next homework assignment is due and what's for dinner and when is that project at work going to mail...etc, etc. I've recently found I spend too much time worrying about everything and everybody else...and not nearly enough time just concentrating on my family. There can be no comparing my life to anyone elses. I don't know what their journey is all about, so I shouldn't get so wrapped up in the differences between us. My kids will never be perfect. My husband will never be perfect. I WILL NEVER BE PERFECT! And that is perfectly ok! :)
And there you have it. Know that the Kelly today is feeling a helluva lot stronger than the Kelly even a week ago...and she's being revived more and more every single second. I don't know...call it a re-evaluation of my life. Call it a psychotic episode. Call it a nervous break down. Or simply call it a woman with a lot on her shoulders, readjusting everything to make it just a little more comfortable to carry.
Yeah, I like that last one too :) Til next time folks...
I know what some of you are thinking. "But she just got back from vacation!" You're right...I did. And let me tell you that I'm pretty sure the trip did more harm then good. Knowing most people won't understand, when asked how my trip was, I smile and tell them it was good. A few select individuals got the truth. That it left me feeling very disillusioned. Disillusioned about friends, about family, about where exactly I fit in to this picture I call my life. {And trust me...I get the irony of this paragraph}
I've come to a few really important realizations that I've decided to share. Not so much because I want someone's opinion, but to organize my thoughts and - hopefully - get myself out of this theoretical rut I have found myself in. So - here goes nothing...
1) Facebook is more harmful, than helpful. Wow - loaded statement right? You all know that I love me some FB. It's how I stay in touch with most of you, keeping current on everyone's comings and goings. I've realized, however, that it creates a sort of unstable sense of friendship. What does that mean? Well, it means that I'm creating or cultivating all of these "virtual" friendships, yet the real ones are either disintegrating or...for some...are non-existent in the real world. It means that it gives me this false sense of comfort thinking that my true friends know how I feel about their friendship. It means that I need to make the extra effort to reach out to those friends and actually TALK with them. Not everday...not every week. Just every once in awhile so they know that I value them and the place they've carved out in my life. Of course - don't expect me to abandon FB any time soon. That's an addiction that will take awhile to break.
2)It's ok to just go with the flow. Sounds simple enough, right? For me, this is a painstaking process. I set deadlines for everything and get very agitated when those deadlines aren't met. Makes me super great at my job, but not so much when it comes to my life. Somewhere in this blog you will find a post that mentions something to the effect of "forgetting self imposed deadlines". I have obviously not listened to my own advice. I need to remember that not everything has to have an agenda that is followed. Sometimes the happiest moments in life are those that are spontaneous. Again, sounds easy, but I assure you...for me, it is not. It is something that I will be striving for and struggling with, but is something that I know is a MUST for me to move forward.
3) My family is the single most important thing in my life. Oh sure...say it. DUH! And it's not that I ever really FORGOT this. But it's good to remind myself now and then. Especially when my brain is going a million miles a second thinking about FB and when the next homework assignment is due and what's for dinner and when is that project at work going to mail...etc, etc. I've recently found I spend too much time worrying about everything and everybody else...and not nearly enough time just concentrating on my family. There can be no comparing my life to anyone elses. I don't know what their journey is all about, so I shouldn't get so wrapped up in the differences between us. My kids will never be perfect. My husband will never be perfect. I WILL NEVER BE PERFECT! And that is perfectly ok! :)
And there you have it. Know that the Kelly today is feeling a helluva lot stronger than the Kelly even a week ago...and she's being revived more and more every single second. I don't know...call it a re-evaluation of my life. Call it a psychotic episode. Call it a nervous break down. Or simply call it a woman with a lot on her shoulders, readjusting everything to make it just a little more comfortable to carry.
Yeah, I like that last one too :) Til next time folks...
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
SuperWoman by definition
su·per·wom·an (so͞oˈpər-wo͝omˌən) - noun
A woman who successfully performs all the duties typically associated with several different full-time roles, such as wage earner, graduate student, mother, and wife.
How many of us fit this definition? We try to be everything to everyone. Most of the time we're successful. But there are dangers that every Superwoman should be aware of. Things like learning how to say no when you've spread yourself too thin, or understanding that part of being a true Superwoman means learning to make YOU a priority in order to avoid burn out.
I need to remember - as much as anybody - that the most important part of being a Superwoman is knowing that you're also human. The term Superwoman does not mean you're perfect. It means you understand your imperfections and can compensate for them.
There are few people in this world that I would say truly understand me. But there are a couple of smart, independent women who have become my most staunch supporters. Doesn't mean they know everything about me - just means that when I say I'm struggling, they understand why and they offer up their hearts and their minds to help me work through it. Doesn't matter that they're both going through their own life changing situations right now. That - by definition - makes them SUPERWOMEN.
It's you girls that I send my most heartfelt gratitude and love out to tonight. You're my favorite Superwomen!!
A woman who successfully performs all the duties typically associated with several different full-time roles, such as wage earner, graduate student, mother, and wife.
How many of us fit this definition? We try to be everything to everyone. Most of the time we're successful. But there are dangers that every Superwoman should be aware of. Things like learning how to say no when you've spread yourself too thin, or understanding that part of being a true Superwoman means learning to make YOU a priority in order to avoid burn out.
I need to remember - as much as anybody - that the most important part of being a Superwoman is knowing that you're also human. The term Superwoman does not mean you're perfect. It means you understand your imperfections and can compensate for them.
There are few people in this world that I would say truly understand me. But there are a couple of smart, independent women who have become my most staunch supporters. Doesn't mean they know everything about me - just means that when I say I'm struggling, they understand why and they offer up their hearts and their minds to help me work through it. Doesn't matter that they're both going through their own life changing situations right now. That - by definition - makes them SUPERWOMEN.
It's you girls that I send my most heartfelt gratitude and love out to tonight. You're my favorite Superwomen!!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Where's my cape?
It's been one of those days. You know, the ones where nothing seems to go right. Where Life is sitting back laughing as you maneuver through the obstacles - not quite successfully.
I have this brilliant friend - we always talk about how we're going to take over the world someday {hey - everyone needs a pipe dream, right?!}. The first post on her new blog solidifies our SUPERWOMEN status and has answered a question that I didn't even know I was asking:
"Today I understand that when I think my mind and my heart are disconnected, it's fear that's coming between the two." ~ KT
It's so simple, yet so true. Of course - now that I'm aware of this little tidbit - Fear doesn't stand a chance. It's OK to be afraid. It's OK to be unsure. We will never have all of the answers - and that's OK too. There's joy to be found in the unknown.
So - to you all of you SUPERWOMEN out there - go kick Fear in the you-know-what, take a deep breath, and let your heart and mind have a well deserved vacation before it's time to get back to dealing with that little bastard known as Life. You'll be so glad you did!
I have this brilliant friend - we always talk about how we're going to take over the world someday {hey - everyone needs a pipe dream, right?!}. The first post on her new blog solidifies our SUPERWOMEN status and has answered a question that I didn't even know I was asking:
"Today I understand that when I think my mind and my heart are disconnected, it's fear that's coming between the two." ~ KT
It's so simple, yet so true. Of course - now that I'm aware of this little tidbit - Fear doesn't stand a chance. It's OK to be afraid. It's OK to be unsure. We will never have all of the answers - and that's OK too. There's joy to be found in the unknown.
So - to you all of you SUPERWOMEN out there - go kick Fear in the you-know-what, take a deep breath, and let your heart and mind have a well deserved vacation before it's time to get back to dealing with that little bastard known as Life. You'll be so glad you did!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I've fallen and I can't get up...
I'm not even going to explain that part of this post...
But...I will say that as I sit here watching Auction Hunters (I would prefer Storage Wars, but I'll take what I can get) all of these discarded items found in abandoned storage sheds and I are kindred spirits. Valuable, yet unappreciated.
I could go on, but I'm fairly certain that the shortness of this post will speak VOLUMES...
But...I will say that as I sit here watching Auction Hunters (I would prefer Storage Wars, but I'll take what I can get) all of these discarded items found in abandoned storage sheds and I are kindred spirits. Valuable, yet unappreciated.
I could go on, but I'm fairly certain that the shortness of this post will speak VOLUMES...
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Holy Ass Kicking!
Boot Camp Babes...end of week TWO. Shoulder has finally started to feel better. Now my shins and ankles hurt. I'm fairly certain that this is a sign I'm getting old.......or maybe just that I wore new work out shoes on Monday night and they did not agree with my muscles. Either way, I'll take it easy this weekend and hope everything feels better next week.
Aside from the killer ASS KICKING I'm receiving from Cherith every week (love you Cherith...have a FABULOUS week off)...I'm also getting out and meeting other new Mama's - which is an awesome side benefit. I'm definitely not the fittest one in the bunch (and yes, fittest is a word...I googled it and found "fittest man in the world"...so there), but I hold my own pretty well - which was one of my biggest concerns when I started. Considering I've had 2 kids via c-section and haven't worked out in years, I'm pretty proud of myself. So...who's ready to join up for the next session with me?? Any takers?? (Mel...please move here so I can have a work out buddy....pretty pretty please?!?!?!)
To date I have lost a whopping TWO POUNDS :( Why the sad face you ask? Because we're currently having a Biggest Loser type contest at work...and while everyone keeps telling me I look thinner, I'm not seeing it on the scale. Which probably means I'm gaining muscle...or some crap like that. Figures!
There you have it folks. I've stuck with it...made it through 2 whole weeks and am still enjoying it. Shocking, I know. The most shocking thing I've realized in the last two weeks?? The kids make it to bed without me just fine. Hmmm...guess the whole world still turns even if Mama isn't here.
.......Catch that little lesson I threw in there ladies? If not, message me and we'll chat :) Night all! Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Aside from the killer ASS KICKING I'm receiving from Cherith every week (love you Cherith...have a FABULOUS week off)...I'm also getting out and meeting other new Mama's - which is an awesome side benefit. I'm definitely not the fittest one in the bunch (and yes, fittest is a word...I googled it and found "fittest man in the world"...so there), but I hold my own pretty well - which was one of my biggest concerns when I started. Considering I've had 2 kids via c-section and haven't worked out in years, I'm pretty proud of myself. So...who's ready to join up for the next session with me?? Any takers?? (Mel...please move here so I can have a work out buddy....pretty pretty please?!?!?!)
To date I have lost a whopping TWO POUNDS :( Why the sad face you ask? Because we're currently having a Biggest Loser type contest at work...and while everyone keeps telling me I look thinner, I'm not seeing it on the scale. Which probably means I'm gaining muscle...or some crap like that. Figures!
There you have it folks. I've stuck with it...made it through 2 whole weeks and am still enjoying it. Shocking, I know. The most shocking thing I've realized in the last two weeks?? The kids make it to bed without me just fine. Hmmm...guess the whole world still turns even if Mama isn't here.
.......Catch that little lesson I threw in there ladies? If not, message me and we'll chat :) Night all! Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
What?! I'm a Babe?
Boot Camp Babe that is :)
For those of you tuning in, tonight was my second night of Boot Camp Babes (www.bootcampbabesaz.com)...and I'm LOVING it. It ain't easy - trust me. Cherith worked my butt off...quite literally ;) I've been home a whole 30 minutes and I'm already sore - which does NOT bode well for tomorrow. Oh - and my shoulder is still on strike. Negotiations will resume tomorrow morning.
To bring you all up to speed - right now, I'm sitting somewhere around 144.5 pounds. Goal is to lose 20 pounds - stretch goal is to lose 30 pounds. I might post the pre-measurements taken on Monday...we'll see. Gotta work up the courage for that one. On top of the work outs, I'm watching what I'm eating and drinking lots of water. But making sure that what I'm doing fits with my lifestyle...which I've found to be VERY important. I'll update the blog regularly on my progress...and to maybe recruit some of you locals to join me...consider yourselves warned!!
I know this is short...especially considering my last blog post was in December. (Yes, yes...I know...I suck) BUT...Mama's tired and needs to get some rest. So stay tuned friends. It's going to be a long and bumpy ride...
Mama Mack's Thought of the Day:
I joined Boot Camp Babes to lose weight. That's the obvious benefit. The other will sound strange to most of you...but it is what it is. This is ME time. Kelly time. Time where I only have to worry about myself. You Mama's out there know EXACTLY how rare that time can be. BUT...we often lose sight of just how important it is. How important it is to TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES - both MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY. So...I leave you with this...take a second for YOU. Doesn't matter what, where, or how. Designate some time each day for YOU. Feel like sharing your You Moment...post away. I'm always up for new ideas, and I'm sure everyone else is too.
Until next time friends...this Babe is off to catch some Zzzz's ;)
For those of you tuning in, tonight was my second night of Boot Camp Babes (www.bootcampbabesaz.com)...and I'm LOVING it. It ain't easy - trust me. Cherith worked my butt off...quite literally ;) I've been home a whole 30 minutes and I'm already sore - which does NOT bode well for tomorrow. Oh - and my shoulder is still on strike. Negotiations will resume tomorrow morning.
To bring you all up to speed - right now, I'm sitting somewhere around 144.5 pounds. Goal is to lose 20 pounds - stretch goal is to lose 30 pounds. I might post the pre-measurements taken on Monday...we'll see. Gotta work up the courage for that one. On top of the work outs, I'm watching what I'm eating and drinking lots of water. But making sure that what I'm doing fits with my lifestyle...which I've found to be VERY important. I'll update the blog regularly on my progress...and to maybe recruit some of you locals to join me...consider yourselves warned!!
I know this is short...especially considering my last blog post was in December. (Yes, yes...I know...I suck) BUT...Mama's tired and needs to get some rest. So stay tuned friends. It's going to be a long and bumpy ride...
Mama Mack's Thought of the Day:
I joined Boot Camp Babes to lose weight. That's the obvious benefit. The other will sound strange to most of you...but it is what it is. This is ME time. Kelly time. Time where I only have to worry about myself. You Mama's out there know EXACTLY how rare that time can be. BUT...we often lose sight of just how important it is. How important it is to TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES - both MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY. So...I leave you with this...take a second for YOU. Doesn't matter what, where, or how. Designate some time each day for YOU. Feel like sharing your You Moment...post away. I'm always up for new ideas, and I'm sure everyone else is too.
Until next time friends...this Babe is off to catch some Zzzz's ;)
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