I look in the mirror and I’m left wondering, “who is that woman in front of me?” Oh sure, she has long brown hair and my big brown eyes, but she sure doesn’t resemble the me that I recognize. I catch little glimpses of the me I remember, but then she’s gone again. Lost behind a mind so full of family, school, work, life, schedules, parties, and so on that she’s become unrecognizable.
Sounds crazy, right? It sounds crazy to me. Yet I find myself in this funk every couple of months. Then something happens and I break through the fog…coming to my senses and proclaiming that I’m going to do things differently. I’m going to put me first and won’t let this happen again. And guess what…it’s a lie. It happens again and I’m just as confused on how I got here as I was the first time or the fifth time or the twentieth time.
I realize that my plate is overflowing. It’s my own doing – choices I’ve made – that have brought me to this winding path. Sometimes it’s sunny and I can walk along knowing that I have a beautiful family, a loving husband, great friends, good job and that everything will be just fine. Then there are times that the path is rough, the sky is gray and I never know when it might start raining down on me. I need to find balance...
Sometimes there is so much going on in my head that I neglect the people in my life. There are those who have no idea just how much they mean to me. How much I’m grateful for them and what they bring to my life. I keep meaning to tell them…yet I never do. It’s as if I live life in my head, never really living life out loud.
How do I shut my mind off long enough for me to actually enjoy life rather than analyze it? That is the question here, isn’t it? Where is that elusive off switch I’ve been searching for? What would be the consequences if I found it? Would it make a difference?
For now, I’ll just sit back and let all of this wander through my head.
And while I’m thinking about it…know that I love you. I really do <3
Monday, August 29, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sleep? What's that?
"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." ~ Leo J. Burke
My mom was right. We were totally spoiled by Rya’s ability to sleep through just about ANYTHING - practically since she was born. Now – when faced with the Little Monster and his sporadic inability to sleep through the night, I am left exhausted, confused, and frustrated.
So fellow Mama’s, I need some SERIOUS advice. Here’s the low down…Keaton has never been a great sleeper. We’ll go through spurts where he’ll sleep through the night for a few months and then something will happen – maybe he gets sick or there is some change in the routine – and it’s like we’re starting all over from square one. It’s to the point where I’m GOOGLING advice because I’m at my wits end, yet every suggestion is something we already do or have done. I love the Little Monster, but Mama needs some SLEEP!!! So – if you have any tips, comments, snide remarks, I’m open to hearing them {and ignoring them if applicable}.
Here is what we currently do / or have tried:
1) We have a bedtime routine. When it’s time for bed, the family goes upstairs and Roy and I each take an offspring to get them all pajama’d up, teeth brushed, “I Love You’s” said, in bed, story read, lights out and doors closed. On bath nights, throw a bath in before the “pajama’d up.”
2) After lights out, the door is closed when he is still awake, so that he falls asleep on his own. There is no rocking to sleep or anything of that nature.
3) We’ve made sure he has a full tummy – he’s well fed, and in the event he doesn’t eat much, we make sure he has at least a graham cracker and cup of milk to put something in his belly.
4) Keaton has a classical music CD that plays when he’s in bed and I read him a story. I’m not sure EXACTLY how long it plays, but it’s at least 45 minutes.
5) Had a nightlight, which I just removed on Thursday thinking maybe it was TOO bright and was causing him to wake up.
6) He still has his binky {aka – pacifier} which we’ve limited to bedtime only. Working on breaking that habit…SOON…as I know that could be one reason he wakes up - when it gets “lost” in the middle of the night.
7) When he DOES wake up, I go in and find his binky, put him back in bed, and walk out. I don’t talk or turn on lights {though of course sometimes he has already turned them on himself}.
8) On nights where I just can't get him back down, I've given him a sippy cup of milk in bed {which would typically NOT happen} just to get him to SLEEP! Even that doesn't always work.
9) We’ve attempted the “let him cry it out method.” My husband fully pins me on this one because at about the 45 min to an hour mark, I start getting frustrated because I can’t sleep and truly believe this kid will just keep crying and knocking until it’s time to get up.
Here are a few things I am going to try, along with the thought processes behind them:
1) Lighter PJ’s at night – maybe he’s getting too warm.
2) Something to provide constant noise whether it’s a fan or hitting “repeat” on his CD player – maybe he has a hard time falling back asleep when it’s quiet.
3) Getting rid of the binky – if he doesn’t have it to lose it, then he won’t need to get up to find it. Of course, this will probably make the problem WORSE initially.
4) Buying a new mattress – we gave him Rya’s mattress from when she was a baby. It’s older and maybe now that he’s bigger, it’s getting uncomfortable.
Here are a couple other key pieces of information before you share your wisdom:
1) He is in a toddler bed, so he’s not confined.
2) Because Keaton is a wannabe Houdini, we’ve had to install a lock that is accessible from the outside of his door so that we can lock him in at night. The idea of him getting out and playing by the stairs is just not something I want to think about. This means that when he does wake up, he is KNOCKING at the door and hitting the handle. It’s loud…and obnoxious.
3) When he wakes up, it's close to impossible to get him back to sleep without rocking him or putting him in bed and rubbing his back.
4) Over the weekend, he slept through the ENTIRE night – BOTH nights – that Auntie Carlene and Todd watched him. The first night that Roy and I were back, he went right back to waking up at approx 1-2am. WTF?!?
4) The other big problem with the "cry it out" method is Keaton's penchant for getting naked. This means jammies and Pull-Up come OFF. The last thing I want to find in the morning is a ginormous MESS that I will have to clean up.
So there you have it. We need your help…BADLY! I might even be willing to offer a reward for anyone who provides a winning tip. Alright...WOW me with your brilliance. Ready? Set? GO!
My mom was right. We were totally spoiled by Rya’s ability to sleep through just about ANYTHING - practically since she was born. Now – when faced with the Little Monster and his sporadic inability to sleep through the night, I am left exhausted, confused, and frustrated.
So fellow Mama’s, I need some SERIOUS advice. Here’s the low down…Keaton has never been a great sleeper. We’ll go through spurts where he’ll sleep through the night for a few months and then something will happen – maybe he gets sick or there is some change in the routine – and it’s like we’re starting all over from square one. It’s to the point where I’m GOOGLING advice because I’m at my wits end, yet every suggestion is something we already do or have done. I love the Little Monster, but Mama needs some SLEEP!!! So – if you have any tips, comments, snide remarks, I’m open to hearing them {and ignoring them if applicable}.
Here is what we currently do / or have tried:
1) We have a bedtime routine. When it’s time for bed, the family goes upstairs and Roy and I each take an offspring to get them all pajama’d up, teeth brushed, “I Love You’s” said, in bed, story read, lights out and doors closed. On bath nights, throw a bath in before the “pajama’d up.”
2) After lights out, the door is closed when he is still awake, so that he falls asleep on his own. There is no rocking to sleep or anything of that nature.
3) We’ve made sure he has a full tummy – he’s well fed, and in the event he doesn’t eat much, we make sure he has at least a graham cracker and cup of milk to put something in his belly.
4) Keaton has a classical music CD that plays when he’s in bed and I read him a story. I’m not sure EXACTLY how long it plays, but it’s at least 45 minutes.
5) Had a nightlight, which I just removed on Thursday thinking maybe it was TOO bright and was causing him to wake up.
6) He still has his binky {aka – pacifier} which we’ve limited to bedtime only. Working on breaking that habit…SOON…as I know that could be one reason he wakes up - when it gets “lost” in the middle of the night.
7) When he DOES wake up, I go in and find his binky, put him back in bed, and walk out. I don’t talk or turn on lights {though of course sometimes he has already turned them on himself}.
8) On nights where I just can't get him back down, I've given him a sippy cup of milk in bed {which would typically NOT happen} just to get him to SLEEP! Even that doesn't always work.
9) We’ve attempted the “let him cry it out method.” My husband fully pins me on this one because at about the 45 min to an hour mark, I start getting frustrated because I can’t sleep and truly believe this kid will just keep crying and knocking until it’s time to get up.
Here are a few things I am going to try, along with the thought processes behind them:
1) Lighter PJ’s at night – maybe he’s getting too warm.
2) Something to provide constant noise whether it’s a fan or hitting “repeat” on his CD player – maybe he has a hard time falling back asleep when it’s quiet.
3) Getting rid of the binky – if he doesn’t have it to lose it, then he won’t need to get up to find it. Of course, this will probably make the problem WORSE initially.
4) Buying a new mattress – we gave him Rya’s mattress from when she was a baby. It’s older and maybe now that he’s bigger, it’s getting uncomfortable.
Here are a couple other key pieces of information before you share your wisdom:
1) He is in a toddler bed, so he’s not confined.
2) Because Keaton is a wannabe Houdini, we’ve had to install a lock that is accessible from the outside of his door so that we can lock him in at night. The idea of him getting out and playing by the stairs is just not something I want to think about. This means that when he does wake up, he is KNOCKING at the door and hitting the handle. It’s loud…and obnoxious.
3) When he wakes up, it's close to impossible to get him back to sleep without rocking him or putting him in bed and rubbing his back.
4) Over the weekend, he slept through the ENTIRE night – BOTH nights – that Auntie Carlene and Todd watched him. The first night that Roy and I were back, he went right back to waking up at approx 1-2am. WTF?!?
4) The other big problem with the "cry it out" method is Keaton's penchant for getting naked. This means jammies and Pull-Up come OFF. The last thing I want to find in the morning is a ginormous MESS that I will have to clean up.
So there you have it. We need your help…BADLY! I might even be willing to offer a reward for anyone who provides a winning tip. Alright...WOW me with your brilliance. Ready? Set? GO!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Shoes? Fu@k Shoes!
That headline is for you Dane Cook fans out there - and is ENTIRELY relevant to the following blog post:
My son likes to be naked! Bet that got your attention, right? But it’s really as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what the article of clothing may be…socks, shoes, jammies, Pull-Ups…nothing stays on long. You want examples? Oh – I can give you examples!
Ok…socks and shoes both come off before we even leave the house to go to school. Most of the time, he has swapped shoes and is wearing a pair of Sister’s flip flops. I then have to put HIS shoes BACK on to get him out to the car. Sometimes they come off in there too. This has resulted in numerous lost socks and a missing flip flop at daycare – you didn’t really think this was just happening at home, did you? We now have one LEFT yellow flip flop - who’s match is lost somewhere in our house - and one LEFT green flip flop that was more than likely shoved into the garbage at daycare never to be seen again. Which is really just sad considering I could’ve at least had a pair of mismatched flips flops if they were Left and Right’s!
Then there are jammies. Imagine walking into your child’s room in the middle of the night after you hear him up and crying. The light is on and the first thing you see when you open the door is said child, jammie-less…holding his blanket. Now, keep in mind that you’re half asleep and the fact that your child is not wearing the jammies you put him in before bed is trying to right itself in your brain. You then notice that said jammies are crumpled up in the corner of the room. Oh – and did I mention these are footed, one piece jammies? **Sigh** Yes, this particular scenario happened at 4am this morning.
And if that’s not enough, there are numerous occasions where I’m in the kitchen and when Keaton walks around the corner he is butt naked – no clothes, no Pull-Up…just him and his sippy cup. Funny, right? Oh no – not when I’m upstairs getting ready and I happen to glance down the staircase to make sure Daddy is watching him only to discover that the little terror is walking up the stairs…without pants…and is in the process of pulling off his Pull-Up and is leaving a trail of little brown nuggets behind him. Oh yes…that’s right…POOP PELLETS trailing up my stairs. I couldn’t make this up…seriously!
Now, you’re probably thinking…”do they not pay attention to their child?” I can assure you that we do. My only response is that this child moves at the speed of light. He’s like…the Stealth Undresser. You think I’m kidding? How about you babysit one evening and let’s see what happens, shall we?? Uh huh – thought so. There’s a reason we call him the Little Monster, you know. Good thing he’s utterly adorable cuz otherwise he could’ve ended up on the black market.
The point to this? I guess I’m looking for confirmation that this is…indeed…just a phase and that my child is not going to become a flasher or nudist or something.
{Side note – obviously I know this is really just normal behavior for the most part…but it does make for an entertaining read, right?}
My son likes to be naked! Bet that got your attention, right? But it’s really as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what the article of clothing may be…socks, shoes, jammies, Pull-Ups…nothing stays on long. You want examples? Oh – I can give you examples!
Ok…socks and shoes both come off before we even leave the house to go to school. Most of the time, he has swapped shoes and is wearing a pair of Sister’s flip flops. I then have to put HIS shoes BACK on to get him out to the car. Sometimes they come off in there too. This has resulted in numerous lost socks and a missing flip flop at daycare – you didn’t really think this was just happening at home, did you? We now have one LEFT yellow flip flop - who’s match is lost somewhere in our house - and one LEFT green flip flop that was more than likely shoved into the garbage at daycare never to be seen again. Which is really just sad considering I could’ve at least had a pair of mismatched flips flops if they were Left and Right’s!
Then there are jammies. Imagine walking into your child’s room in the middle of the night after you hear him up and crying. The light is on and the first thing you see when you open the door is said child, jammie-less…holding his blanket. Now, keep in mind that you’re half asleep and the fact that your child is not wearing the jammies you put him in before bed is trying to right itself in your brain. You then notice that said jammies are crumpled up in the corner of the room. Oh – and did I mention these are footed, one piece jammies? **Sigh** Yes, this particular scenario happened at 4am this morning.
And if that’s not enough, there are numerous occasions where I’m in the kitchen and when Keaton walks around the corner he is butt naked – no clothes, no Pull-Up…just him and his sippy cup. Funny, right? Oh no – not when I’m upstairs getting ready and I happen to glance down the staircase to make sure Daddy is watching him only to discover that the little terror is walking up the stairs…without pants…and is in the process of pulling off his Pull-Up and is leaving a trail of little brown nuggets behind him. Oh yes…that’s right…POOP PELLETS trailing up my stairs. I couldn’t make this up…seriously!
Now, you’re probably thinking…”do they not pay attention to their child?” I can assure you that we do. My only response is that this child moves at the speed of light. He’s like…the Stealth Undresser. You think I’m kidding? How about you babysit one evening and let’s see what happens, shall we?? Uh huh – thought so. There’s a reason we call him the Little Monster, you know. Good thing he’s utterly adorable cuz otherwise he could’ve ended up on the black market.
The point to this? I guess I’m looking for confirmation that this is…indeed…just a phase and that my child is not going to become a flasher or nudist or something.
{Side note – obviously I know this is really just normal behavior for the most part…but it does make for an entertaining read, right?}
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