Shoes? Fu@k Shoes!

That headline is for you Dane Cook fans out there - and is ENTIRELY relevant to the following blog post:

My son likes to be naked! Bet that got your attention, right? But it’s really as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what the article of clothing may be…socks, shoes, jammies, Pull-Ups…nothing stays on long. You want examples? Oh – I can give you examples!

Ok…socks and shoes both come off before we even leave the house to go to school. Most of the time, he has swapped shoes and is wearing a pair of Sister’s flip flops. I then have to put HIS shoes BACK on to get him out to the car. Sometimes they come off in there too. This has resulted in numerous lost socks and a missing flip flop at daycare – you didn’t really think this was just happening at home, did you? We now have one LEFT yellow flip flop - who’s match is lost somewhere in our house - and one LEFT green flip flop that was more than likely shoved into the garbage at daycare never to be seen again. Which is really just sad considering I could’ve at least had a pair of mismatched flips flops if they were Left and Right’s!

Then there are jammies. Imagine walking into your child’s room in the middle of the night after you hear him up and crying. The light is on and the first thing you see when you open the door is said child, jammie-less…holding his blanket. Now, keep in mind that you’re half asleep and the fact that your child is not wearing the jammies you put him in before bed is trying to right itself in your brain. You then notice that said jammies are crumpled up in the corner of the room. Oh – and did I mention these are footed, one piece jammies? **Sigh** Yes, this particular scenario happened at 4am this morning.

And if that’s not enough, there are numerous occasions where I’m in the kitchen and when Keaton walks around the corner he is butt naked – no clothes, no Pull-Up…just him and his sippy cup. Funny, right? Oh no – not when I’m upstairs getting ready and I happen to glance down the staircase to make sure Daddy is watching him only to discover that the little terror is walking up the stairs…without pants…and is in the process of pulling off his Pull-Up and is leaving a trail of little brown nuggets behind him. Oh yes…that’s right…POOP PELLETS trailing up my stairs. I couldn’t make this up…seriously!

Now, you’re probably thinking…”do they not pay attention to their child?” I can assure you that we do. My only response is that this child moves at the speed of light. He’s like…the Stealth Undresser. You think I’m kidding? How about you babysit one evening and let’s see what happens, shall we?? Uh huh – thought so. There’s a reason we call him the Little Monster, you know. Good thing he’s utterly adorable cuz otherwise he could’ve ended up on the black market.

The point to this? I guess I’m looking for confirmation that this is…indeed…just a phase and that my child is not going to become a flasher or nudist or something.

{Side note – obviously I know this is really just normal behavior for the most part…but it does make for an entertaining read, right?}